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January 3, 2008 5:29 a.m. EST Sally Grover - Celebrity News Service News Writer Los Angeles, CA (CNS) - DJ AM may be one of the hottest DJ's in Hollywood, with an impressive list of starlet ex-girlfriends and the deed to many of the towns hottest nightclubs. However, just ten years ago, DJ AM was leading a very different life. The 33 year-old music man, whose real name is Adam Goldstein, has told the story of his past to Glamour magazine. The ex-fiancé of Nicole Richie revealed that he was once so close to committing suicide he had a gun in his mouth. AM said, "I went into my living room, reached into a cabinet above my TV and grabbed my gun, a loaded .22. I sat back on my heels, cocked it and put it into my mouth. I pulled the trigger. The gun didn't go off. I thought, 'Are you kidding me? I'm such an [expletive] failure I can't even kill myself? I dropped the gun and broke down. That was the turning point in my life." Since the turning point at age 24, DJ AM has become one of the biggest entertainers in Hollywood, favored by celebrities and appearing at some of the hottest parties. However, his priorities have changed. The star continued, "I no longer needed a trophy girlfriend or drugs to feel good about myself. It's been nine and a half years since I've had a drink or taken drugs. But every day I have to remind myself that no matter how much time I have behind me, I'm still a drug addict." "At any given moment, I'm five seconds away from walking up to someone, grabbing their drink out of their hand and downing it. And if I do that, within a week, tops, I'll be smoking crack."
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